Most women look for the same kinds of indicators in a man that he is "Relationship Ready" that are present in a woman - the things that prove to her he's ready to settle down and make her the focus of his undivided attention.
The problem with this is that men don't approach relationships the way women do and definitely don't choose a committed life partner the way women do.
When we met Graham told me he wasn't looking to date, let alone ready for a serious relationship when we met. I'm often asked, "How did you know you weren't just wasting your time?"
I had faith in two things:
1. I had done the work to be High Value
2. If he got to know me and I was what he was looking for he would choose me.
Not only did he choose me, but all interest in anyone but me completely disappeared and all he wanted to do was figure out how to make "Us" work better every day.
It's in the way a woman balances the vulnerability of her heart with the high standards of her expectations that triggers his response to suddenly recognize- "It's YOU!"
When I met Graham he was adamant that he wasn’t even looking to date. His heart space was switched off and he was in full “headspace” when we began getting to know each other.
He’s revealed a lot to me about the process of how the way I showed up was different than any woman he’d ever met and made it literally impossible for him not to open his heart. It’s not that he felt he was giving me what I wanted, he literally felt like what he wanted most for him was to give me these things.
It’s a fun argument we have sometimes about what’s happening in our relationship and who enjoys more of the connection – me for what I get to experience or him for what he gets to give.
Men are looking for a woman that they never tire of making happy and giving things that make her smile. Once you know how to signal a man’s heart that you are this woman, the one unlike any he’s ever met, he literally can’t stop his heart from opening or giving you the things that make yours feel filled.
Men are actually incredibly simple when it comes to a relationship – all they want is a woman who they believe they are uniquely designed to make happy for a lifetime. We are actually in complete control of the signals that tell him he’s found “the one”.
This is not about tips on how to seduce a man – men’s hearts can’t be seduced, but once they choose you this deeply, you're the only one for them forever.
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