What I’ve realized is how much pain and rejection it creates for men who are in awe of the Feminine and try to express that in our (typically) clumsy fashion when you can’t see or accept that magnificence we witness in you. 

 

In speaking with my client Debbie about this I realized the reason I enjoyed the interactions I have with her so much is she can hear and take in the reflection of magic, magnificence and desirability I witness in her. 

 

As man it fills me to know that my sharing of the awe I feel witnessing you is receive ~ but for so many women they are so wounded and shut down they have lost the ability to receive and believe.

 

Much of this pain comes from masculine wounding ~ where a father or lover has attacked a quality. I realized that Masculine Wounding can be healed through an experience with a conscious masculine man for that woman.

 

A conscious man can erase a lie another man has wounded you with:

 

“No one will ever desire a woman like you who...”

 

He can erase that lie with the reflection of beauty and desirability he witnesses in you.

 

A conscious man can take away the lingering sense of danger other men have wounded you or threatened you with. 

 

By showing up in life and creating a safe space physically, sexually, emotionally and/or financially he can begin to bring down the walls you have created to keep yourself safe in response to past experiences.

 

These were things I witnessed when I was dating and now I’m my work with women, but there are wounds that no matter how much safety I created, no matter how much trust was present and no matter how much love I gave that would shift a woman at all.

 

These wounds that no man can heal, that no relationship can fix and that no degree of safe space he can create will ever move you to be open to receive the reflection of beauty and magnificence he aches to witness in you come from Feminine Wounding.

 

I’ll share what the polarity of this looks like in so you can understand how it feels to witness magnificence and potential un someone who can’t receive it and why we eventually give up and move on when they can’t.

 

I used to think falling in love with someone’s “potential” rather than their current reality was an exclusively female trait - you intuit the man he has the potential to be, fall in love with that and stick with him even while he can’t step up and step into that version of himself that you want both for him and for you to experience.

 

But this happens for men as well with you - they feel the potential of your fulfilled magnificence that is locked inside you, they attempt to witness and share this sense of you, but you can’t receive or believe what they’re telling you.

 

Eventually they let go because their desire is to have their love and their truth for you received and it’s too painful to watch your walls bounce that back and keep it from you embracing what they experience in you.

 

This is not how all relationships end, and even when this is part of reason their are others that muddy this so it may be hard to know this happened, but if I could make you entirely safe for a moment in life and give you a special set of glasses to see this in your past, their would certainly be some of this present.

 

Feminine Wounding is primarily a cultural experience that is an unintentional byproduct of what has given women more safety and power in certain aspects of life, but at the cost of shutting down and often vilifying the qualities that are most powerful and intoxicating about her.

 

Feminine Wounding is anything that has shamed your authentic essence of feminine energy by making you feel it is Too Much or Not Enough to be embraced or celebrated by family, society or a partner.

 

One of the easiest to identify is the Madonna/Whore complex that exists in nearly every culture, religion and family messaging.

 

“Boys are naturally designed for sexuality and promiscuity, girls are naturally designed for chastity, purity and motherhood.”

 

My experience revealed that women have a far greater captivity for sexual expression and desire - when it was safe to do so - then most men can even imagine.

 

Every awakened woman I have known has made this statement: “I’ve never met a man who can keep up!”

 

Just the fact that it’s a fairly common experience now for women to be able to experience multiple orgasms and the same phenomenon in men is nearly non-existent is evidence of the infinite expression of women relative to the finite expression of men in this space.

 

Society has measured sexuality exclusively in what I’ll call adolescent horniness and how frequently and quickly this is triggered. The fact that the typical sexual experience in this state is measured by seconds or minutes vs an awakened woman’s capacity for pleasure to last hours should tell us a lot.

 

Everything in family, society and religion pushes for a feminine energy as an expression of sexuality to be bad, wrong, dangerous or sinful. Even the way women who claim this power tend to do it tends to be through masculine energy - fighting back against these messages vs flowing into it.

 

There’s something far more powerful in you than even sexual magnificence that is intuitively obvious to a conscious man, but most women are blind to - the other parts of your personal and feminine magic.

 

The power of both masculine and feminine energy has been largely removed from modern society to make it easier for us all to be safe and productive. The same reason we neuter an animal to take away wild behavior in a female animal in heat or intense aggression of a male animal due to elevated levels of testosterone.

 

We’re easier to handle energetically neutered than fully alive and expressed.

 

Women become less “seductive” or “psycho”.

 

Men become less horny or dangerous.

 

We all become more stable and productive Citizens, but less embodied human beings.

 

We’ve protected ourselves from being a culture of hedonistic Bad Boys and Sluts, but we’ve dulled ourselves down to a point where there is hardly enough polarity to feel alive in our own skin or switched on by the other gender.

 

In fact, in culture today if is considered inappropriate or inconsiderate to live in a way that makes the other gender feel switched on. We remove the need for them to be energetically in control of their power by shutting our own energy off.

 

And when someone who can “see” us attempts to tell us about the potential of our power or the beauty in our magic we refuse the compliment or deny the truth in order to stay in line with the messages of our family, church, and tribal society...

 

“Don’t stand out! It’s arrogant, intimidating and sinful to feel pride in having unique magic!”

 

“How dare you take pride in what makes you special! How will everyone else feel in comparison if you’re more than them in some way!?”

 

“Shut off your light! Turn down your dial! Stomp out your magic! I can’t STAND you being so bright! Who will notice me if I stand next to you!?”

 

And so you want a partner who sees you as uniquely special, magical and beautiful, but even when he shares this with you you can’t take it in.

 

Nothing feels more rejecting to a man than a woman who can’t take in the reflection of the magic and beauty he sees in her. And most women are so focused on their flaws that they can’t hear the truth about the unique beauty that is theirs alone.

 

None of us are the most or best of everything. Most of us are average in ways that we wish to be magical because we mistakenly believe our magic only exists in comparison to others.

 

Really?

 

Are you moved by what I’m sharing?

 

Is it the most moved you’ve ever felt reading anything?

 

Should I give up sharing this part of my magic because it’s not the most magical thing ever written?

 

Magic is magic. It’s not in comparison to anything. It’s beautiful standing on its own.

 

I’m not the best writer, but I’m pretty good at it.

 

I’m not the best or wisest philosopher, but I’ve got a relatively strong ability in that spectrum.

 

I’ve heard countless times that something I’ve shared has changed someone’s life, but I aggravate my kids every day with other qualities in my personality.

 

If your ability to take in the reflection of what makes you special is walled off by the need to protect yourself from the feeling that you’re Too Much or Not Enough you have Feminine Wounding. No man and no relationship can take that away.

 

What you need is a conscious tribe that will provide the safe space you’ve always deserved to embrace what makes you special and accept what makes you wild and weird.

 

We’re all a combination of both. It’s society that has taken away our ability to stand out at all in order to protect itself from wild and weird. That’s society’s job - it doesn’t make society wrong or bad, but it does mean we need to find the appropriate place to learn to switch our authenticity, power and magic back on. 

 

More than anything that’s what Jenn and I realize we create with the programs we run ~ it’s the teaching to a degree, but it’s the tribe and community that amplify the message to the degree it can move past those walls we all create to keep ourselves safe.

 

If the energy of what we share resonates with you, I encourage you to reach out and learn more about the ways to connect with the tribe we have developed in the past decade. If you’ve felt lost or on the outside of tribes with little soul, dimmed magic and crushed spirit I think you’ll find the tribe we’ve attracted will relight your fire.