Do you have a partner, romantic interest or male friend who you know has so much more potential for contribution, connection, and happiness, but no matter how many conversations you've had over the years, how many courses, books or articles you've recommended or even the number of hours you've spent in counseling he's still stuck?
It's frustrating to the point of maddening for the woman.
The response of women to conversation and suggestions of things that would be in their benefit generate a different response in general than they do for a man. Men perceive it as criticism, nagging or lack of recognition of how hard they're trying. The act of bringing something to his attention, even when you're doing it to try to help is perceived as an insult or an attack.
So how do you get a man to pay attention to what needs to occur for him to have the type of connection he says he wants from you?
BOUNDARIES & PRESSURE
No amount of conversation or educational material motivates a man who doesn't...
If I could go back in time I would love my kids harder, cherish more of life's special moments and give the world the magical parts of me I was afraid to show because I didn't want to be rejected or hurt.
If I could go back in time I'd have the courage to leave my ex sooner. I stayed because I thought I was giving my kids what they needed. I didn't want my kids to be from a broken home, even the words 'broken home' sent a shot of pure panic through my entire body.
Long after I knew that things were off, unhealthy and even toxic I stayed. I was stuck because I was scared, and that scared part of me hade me take a really long time to make the hard choices.
What if he met someone after me and gave her all the things I longed from him? What if my greatest fears came true? What if all along it really was me and he WAS in fact capable of love, compassion and kindness?
I didn't want to face failure, the unknown or the feeling of being replaced. I didn't want to have to share my kids, risk...
It feels so good to soothe and be soothed. I describe this to my children as two individuals with holes in their hearts who push their hearts together to stop the bleeding rather than fixing the two holes. And what happens when the soothing one wounded heart provides is distracted by another issue in life? The heart they've been soothing feels abandoned.
I see these memes a lot, poetic descriptions of love or consciousness by those who half-grasp and half-live the concept. But just like with men, it's more important to judge an author's life results than the words they write. I've seen a few philosophers living the dream, and what's the basis of truth, if not the evidence of one's life?
(BTW, if kids are part of your ideal life, advice from someone who doesn't have two or more vibrant, productive, independent adult children is not going to be based on all the information you'll need).
Therapists don't pour themselves into their clients' pain and wounds, they hold space for...
Being single or partnered make little difference on Valentine's Day. Ok, that's not entirely true, because more breakups occur Valentine's Day than any other due to all of the expectations we have loaded on this arbitrary celebration. If being single today has you down, I'd like to share how being alone taught me what love really is.
As a man, I'm likely not as affected by how I feel about my relationship status on Feb 14, but I spent New Years Eve alone 3 years ago, no partner, no family, no friends and no kids. It became a pivotal moment in my life as I noticed that I could be happy when I was alone because I respected and trusted myself.
After years of dating, I realized that evening that being single or 'alone' didn't reflect my desirability or character. Being single was a statement about how I felt about myself.
1. BEING SINGLE IS A CHOICE
Company isn't that hard to find if you're lonely and willing to settle, so being single and spending time alone is a choice...
How many times have you heard that you're too sensitive? How many times have your feelings been dismissed because you were told you're too emotional or dramatic?
How many times have you been mocked, yelled at, scolded, or been pushed away for what you were feeling? For me, it was most of my life.
Most people haven't been able to 'handle' me, they didn't know what to do with that part of me. To he honest, it was hard to know what to do with myself much of the time.
Did that mean what I was feeling wasn't important or valid? Do highly sensitive people have to suck it up and just accept the world isn't accepting of them? Do we accept being labeled, judged, ignored, misunderstood by others and especially by ourselves?
I used to wish I was someone else; someone more balanced, calm, and angelic. I used to feel trapped with a brain I couldn't run away from and somedays it felt like a death sentence.
I feel everything. I read and observe people, I study energy, body...
Anything a man has said to you that doesn't reflect that statement is a lie designed to disempower you. I can't get over the number of women I've talked to who dislike something about themselves based on a comment a man has made. Don't believe it.
I've heard some pretty awful things that men have said to women who have trusted them with their bodies and Jenn is receiving messages because of her last article reflecting this.
Any man who has something to say about you that makes you feel anything other than wholly desirable us either too ignorant, too unconscious or too inept to deserve a goddess like you.
And there is a direct correlation between the way a man deeply feels about a woman and his desire to consume her in all ways with his mouth.
Don't allow yourself to be connected with a man who doesn't embrace every inch of you. Your responsibility is to always work at being the best version of who you can be inside and out, but any man who compares you to other...
Most women are looking for a man who doesn’t exist.
Most men are looking for something they don’t BELIEVE exists.
What men want is freedom - actually, an even better word for what men want is “space”.
Most women believe that their are two kinds of men: The common kind of man who never wants to have to make a choice or be committed, and the rare “good” man who is different from the rest and WANTS a relationship where he falls in love with one woman and his heart is hers for the rest of his life.
There ARE two kinds of men, but that’s not how they’re divided:
1. ONE kind of man is afraid of life and unsure of his ability to be loved or succeed.
While he CRAVES space and freedom, he’s afraid to be alone and so he compromises or settles for a woman willing to settle for a man who has doubts about his lovability and whether he will truly succeed.
The average man will compromise his core need to have space...
When it comes to men, how often have you tried to be supportive, given advice, been long-suffering to find the debt is never repaid?
Men do not change because they have new or better information, nor are they fundamentally influenced by philosophical arguments or well articulated opinion. Sharing posts, engaging in long conversations, going with them to courses or counseling are not the mechanisms that change them.
Men change only when the pain of remaining the same exceeds their massive reluctance of publicly failing looking or foolish attempting the new or unknown.
The thing men value most is a source of high quality feminine energy. The internal source of this is deep and elusive to men until they have transitioned through multiple traumatic life experiences revealing his purpose.
Until a man accepts, embraces and courageously lives his life with purpose and intention he will seek to fill what aches in his soul through relationships - relationships with women, with money, with...
Even conscious men can be dense and insensitive; we're all wired to drive for the win. What's different about a conscious man is how he defines his win.
If he's conscious, your win is his win and the one that matters most. If he argues with you about who's right, he's not listening and he's not conscious.
Your feelings are always valid. In fact, your feelings are more valid than his facts - and last night my facts and Her feelings didn't line up.
"It's FINE! I know what I'm doing!" I was saying loudly in my own head.
We're already late and I've brilliantly figured out a way around the two hour traffic jam. Sure - it's through back roads covered in gravel and we're eating the dust of the cars in front of us, but I'll pass them soon enough...
WHAT?! You don't want me to pass them because it's a gravel road??? That's exactly WHY I'm passing them!
JUST TRUST ME! I've done this all my life - I'm a semi pro off road expert, didn't you know?
So there she is, covering her...
I’m not saying all women are “too much,” but mine definitely is.
It’s 2:00 AM and I’m wide awake because I can barely even get myself to sleep next to this woman - some nights just being in the room with her feels like an overload!
I think my heart just doesn’t want to take an 8 hour break, so it keeps me wide awake thinking about who she chooses to be and how perfectly she loves me. I try to soothe the feeling and drift off by pulling her in close and spooning, but it never feels like I can get my heart close enough.
If I could wrap us together the way you pair socks before you put them in the drawer that might be enough, but even wrapping my arm around her waist, curling my forearm between her breasts, resting my fingers against her neck and weaving our thighs together can’t get my heart as close as it wants to be.