Trading Love For Sex?

sex Apr 20, 2019

There is a trade that goes on in many relationships where men do romantic favors for their partner in exchange for her doing sexual favors for him - at least that's how they refer to those acts. But is it actually romance and sex, or is it really just a performance designed for two codependent individuals who have learned to exchange favors?

Doesn't a woman really want a man to show up with flowers because he saw them, thought of her and understood that she would appreciate them. Or if he was in the mall and saw a pair of earrings he purchased them because he understands her style, what looks great on her and wanted to put a smile on her face?

Doesn't a man want a woman who doesn't simply tolerate his sexual interests, but is so drawn to him that she feels perpetually drawn to his masculinity in a way that connects her to him sexually?  Or sends him sexy texts of thoughts and fantasies she has of him because she can't get the last time out of her mind until the next time?

The 'Exchange' relationship appears to be little different than non-committed relationship forms of exchange of favors or payment. How deep can that go?  How connected can that be? How much trust is built on deep foundations when there is a menu or balance sheet involved?

The potential of a man us to unconsciously romantic towards his partner at all times - not because he's trying, but because he can't avoid thinking and doing the things that are meaningful to her because she never really leaves his psyche.

It's not infatuation or obsession, he's just so connected that he's constantly in sync and feels her. Maybe it's just a sweet text he sends, maybe it's a call on the way home asking what he can pick up, a turn with the kids, or the kiss he always gives when he leaves and arrives.  All of these at an unconscious level, because she appreciates it, but even more so that he just loves putting a smile on her face.

And for her part, how does she not want to consume and be consumed by a man that is this attentive, respectful and makes her feel wholly seen, heard and safe?  Her natural response is to open fully - emotionally, energetically and physically. She opens not in exchange for what he does, but as an irresistible reaction to masculine magnificence that makes her feel like the center of the universe in the most effortless way.

This is what it was like this past week for Jenn and I, same with the week before that, and the one before that, and all the ones before going back to when we met.

For more information on our books and courses that cover this in more detail, or to book a one on one “Heartspace” session, send a message through the “Contact” page.

In support,
Graham R White

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